It’s 8am in my girl’s country right now, Monday morning. Everyone is just now waking up, except for those who went to bed hungry. For 5 more days, our caseworker is there. She is hopeful to have something significant happen. 5 more days for people I have never met to work on behalf of my family; 5 more days. The count-down begins.
*Spoiler alert* Transparent moment
It’s exhausting to be hopeful and let down so often. I’m not sure if just today was defeating, or the week in general. Not sure if it’s the weather (dear vacation, I miss you) the situation, or the fact that we can’t defend ourselves. I have no good answers.
Earlier this week I came to the realization that I had a pretty tight grip on this date. So, I let it go. It wasn’t a great night. Living in flux is something I’m a professional at. It seems our lives have been in flux more than the typical family. But this flux is a bit more challenging. There are no absolutes, there are no timelines, there are no complete answers.I love my girls so much; living without them seems pointless.
But I know it’s not. It’s not pointless.
I’m know there are many things I can learn during this time.
Correction; adoptive moms, there are a ton of things we can learn from this time.
The thing I am going to salvage from this time is my purpose right here right now. I’m searching for it. I’m working at it. I’m trying. I stepping out of my fear, social expectations, and stretching my strengths. I mean isn’t that what everyone does when they are emotionally drained?
Come on adoptive mamas, join me.
Count to ten.
Step out of the despair with me. Let’s wipe the muck off each other. Let’s embrace the pain and move forward. Let’s pray each other through.
We’ve got stuff to do. God’s got stuff to do. People we’ve never met have stuff to do, papers to sign. Let’s not be the ones holding up the process. Let’s believe in his timing. For real. Let’s run from jealousy. Let’s embrace each other with joy and grace. Let us be the hands and feet of Christ, to each other.
Because no one understands how we feel better than we do.
In the meantime, as we seek to encourage each other, let’s accomplish some dreams, realize some goals. Let’s deepen our knowledge and broaden our achievements.
Our families need us to. They need us to be dependent on the Lord, not on them. They need us to have quiet strength to exude grace. They need us to be patient. They need us to work hard. They need us to develop the gifts and strengths we’ve been given.
They need us to be better for them, whenever it is that they come home.
So, let’s stop trying to control the situation and trust our maker. Let’s be controlled by our principles not our emotions. Let’s pray. Let’s work. Let’s grow. Together.
What are you going to work on? What are you going to complete? Who are you going to be when your kids finally come home?