It was this magazine that got me thinking. I knew what awaited me in those pages. I picked up the collection of ideas, how tos, and immaculate pictures. As I flipped through the pages, I felt the lead in my gut and immediately put it down. I was right, my shoulders slumped as the weight set in.
Several weeks later, I came across the Magnolia magazine again. I pointed to it, I said to my guy, “Please don’t buy me this. I don’t want it.” He looked at me in question, but shrugged in obedience.
A while later that I had to explain my odd request.
“I love Chip and Jo, you know I do. I think they are adorable together, and watching #FixerUpper makes me feel good you know? It makes me want to be a better person. But, I can’t get the magazine, I can’t have it in the house.”
Silence in response.
“It makes me feel like I’m failing at life.”
My husband was thoughtful for a moment, “I think I’ve underestimated your low self-worth. You have some serious doubts; and you’re totally off target.”
He got me thinking.
Weeks later, I stood in the book store, face to face with the latest edition.
There it was. There she was. Jo, standing against a breath taking snowy background, her floor length floral skirt was effortless. “Well, let’s try it again.”
I took the magazine to a nearby table.
As I flipped through the pages, I was inspired by all the wonderful traditions that I hope to someday create with our girls. I thought about the hours we’ve spent together in the kitchen already. They are some of my most cherished memories.
I thought about peppermint cocoa, classic Christmas movies, and what our tree would look like. I thought about finding an opportunity to give this season, because I already have everything I need. I thought about searching for wonder, and finding it in every day miracles.
I thought about a lot.
To my surprise and delight, I didn’t feel less than, or failure, or imperfect. There was no heaviness or weight that came as I browsed the pages. I had let the truth that was spoken to me weeks ago sink in.
I had been allowing myself to be threatened by a magazine. If I had to guess, I would say threatened is the LAST emotion Joanna Gaines wants to infuse into her readers. So dumb. I had somehow made a decision to question these negative doubts and feelings and see if they were legitimate.
I came to realize quickly, they weren’t legit at all.
So, if you’ve been threatened by a magazine, a TV show, a neighbor or even a friend, just know this; you’re not alone. Think it’s ridiculous I felt threatened by a magazine? Valid point. It’s ridiculous that YOU feel this way. So, stop.
Valuing ourselves for who we are, in our raw human state frees us from anyone’s expectations; especially our own.
Savor what you excel at instead of being defeated by all you have yet to perfect.
Value yourself enough to give your soul what it truly needs. Don’t be defeated, threatened, or overwhelmed by all that you could do, or think you should do. Don’t be intimidated by all that this Holiday season might expect. Choose grace for your own soul.
Love people well. Including yourself.
You are worthy of that.
So don’t be afraid: you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:31
@magnoliamarket @joannagaines #Worthy #Grace #SpeakTruth #Christmasstress #Overwhelmed